STRIDE RATHER THAN STRIFE IN YOUR SINGLE SEASON

I recently listened to a Pastor Micheal Todd’s sermon on” Stride” which means to “walk with long, decisive steps in a specified direction”.  From this sermon, I came to notice that throughout Jesus’ earthly ministry, we don’t hear of Him running. Instead, He walked at the pace of grace, yet He was able to effectively fulfill His purpose for coming to the earth and did not miss out on anything He had to do.

When we stride, we are not lazily standing on one position, neither are we striving and running too fast and missing on many things which adversely affects attaining our goal. Rather, when we stride we take long decisive steps in a specific direction towards attaining our goals in life. The things that are certain about striding is COMMITMENT (walking); PERSISTENCE (walking long decisive steps) and FOCUSED (in a specific direction). I noticed that the process of becoming a medical doctor needs a lot of striding. Your goal is to become a medical doctor. To attain this, you take decisive steps like enrolling into the medical school, passing exams, going for practice sessions and obtaining medical license at the end of the training.  You see, there are different seasons which you intentional walk in on the way to becoming a medical doctor. You don’t skip any part of the process or you may end up destroying lives rather than saving them as a medical doctor.

Just like the saying goes “all fingers are not the same”, I have come to understand that according to God’s purpose for you, He plans the seasons in your life which is unique to each individual. So I believe God is also intentional about the single season in our lives. For some, He may let you go through a shorter single season. For some it may be longer. Societal perspectives today have made the single season to look very unimportant so much so that many people especially ladies strife to get out of this season rather than striding to fulfill purpose during this season while moving to the next seasons of life. One thing I know is that just like I desire to be married one day, you reading this may desire that too and I believe God placed those desires there because there is a purpose He has for us to fulfill by being a wife/husband. Nevertheless, if you are still in your single season, understand that God may also have you there for a reason and learn to stride in it.

So, is it possible to stride in the single season?

Let’s draw inspiration from the single season of some ladies in the bible. They are Ruth, Esther and Rebecca. These women had different single season experiences and I believe many single ladies fall under one of these categories. Through their stories I learned how we can stride in the single season as they did. So let’s go!

• Ruth – An example of a single season amidst a filthy past, present challenges and experiences. (Ruth Chapter 1-4)

Ruth was a Moabite and Moabites were noted for idol worship and also immoral conducts. Ruth married a man from Bethlehem which means she married a man who worshipped the Living God. Her father in-law died and later on, her husband died. So she became single again, left with her mother in-law Naomi. Naomi encouraged Ruth and Orpah (the other daughter in-law of Naomi who had lost her husband too) not to follow her because she had no other sons for them to re-marry and rather encouraged them to stay in Moab, most probably to remarry.  Orpah decided to remain in Maob, while Ruth decided to follow her mother in-law to worship the living GOD whom Naomi worshipped and live with Naomi’s people who were godly people living according to godly standards.  Ruth followed Naomi to Bethlehem despite all the difficulty which they faced. She took care of Naomi and worked hard to earn a living for herself and Naomi. She nurtured godly characters during this season which was evident in the way she catered for Naomi, how she obeyed Naomi, how she patiently and devoted worked on the fields behind the harvester, humility as she bowed when talking to Baoz etc. During this season Ruth invested her time in functioning in her vocation (farming) and her purpose for the season (catering for Naomi). Boaz noticed Ruth because she went out to work and was very committed to her work and he also mentioned that he had heard of all Ruth had done to Naomi. Even when Boaz had showed His interest for Ruth, she took Naomi’s advice to lay at Boaz’s feet (This was not suggesting a seductive act. Rather it was acting in accordance with Israelite custom and law and by observing this custom; Ruth was informing Boaz that he could be her guardian-redeemer). She was patient in her single season until Boaz fulfilled all the procedures for marriage and married her.

I am amazed at how Ruth walked long decisive steps in her single season through which she ended up fulfilling purpose. Maybe if she had to strife for a cute life after the death of her husband, she would have remained in Moab and idolatory just like Orpah.  Rather when she found God she started to walk at her pace of grace in the single season. She chose to leave old Moabite ways to follow God’s ways and lived in hardship with her mother in-law. Despite the hardship, her single season focused on serving God, developing godly character, working in her vocation and purpose for the season. At the end, we see how her single season was a foundation for a marriage which fulfilled a God ordained purpose of bringing forth and taking care of the lineage through which Jesus came from.

Do you have a filthy past characterized by things like idolatry; immorality; theft; deception etc and you feel downcast about your life especially your single season? The good news is that it’s not too late to begin a new walk. God can cleanse you and make every new for you.

• Esther- An example of a single season of an orphan girl (Esther Chapter 1-10)

King Xerxes was the king of Persia. He gave a banquet in his palace and during the banquet, he invited queen Vashti in-order to display her beauty to the people for she was a beautiful woman. But Vashti refused to show up. The king was not happy with Vashti and consulted with the wise who advised the king  that Vashti’s conduct was not right and other women may know of such conduct and begin to despise their husbands. The king was advised to give Vashti’s royal position to someone else who was better than Vashti. Esther was an orphan who was brought up by her cousin Mordecai, a Jew from the tribe of Benjamin. When king Xerxes’ order to search for a young lady to become queen was proclaimed, Esther was among the many ladies who were taken to the citadel (palace) of Susa and put under Hegai’s care. Amongst the other ladies she pleased Hegai and won his favor nevertheless, Esther obeyed Mordecai and did not reveal her nationality and family background. Esther and the other ladies had to go through 12 months of beauty treatment before meeting the king and when they went to the king, anything they asked for was given to them. When it was Esther’s turn to meet the king she obeyed Hegai and asked for nothing other than what Hegai had asked her to ask for. Esther won the favor of the king and all the other people who saw her. Eventually she won the king’s approval and she was crowned Queen in place of Vashti.

Vashti was beautiful, the other young ladies who were presented to the king were beautiful. So why did Esther, a lowly orphan find favor in the king? I believe Esther chapter 2 carries a lot of information of Esther striding in her single season. She was an orphan with a godly upbringing. Despite the hardship that is usually attached to growing as an orphan, she remained focused and nurtured her character as a single. For instance Esther portrayed a lot of obedience, humility, quiet-spirit etc. If she had to strife to meet the king, she should have skipped doing the things Mordecai asked her to do while she was single and she may have also denied the 12 months treatment offered before meeting the king. Instead, she took walked long decisive steps through her up-bringing and went through the 12 months treatment before being taken to the king. She walked at her pace of Grace during her single season and at the set time she found favor in the king. Apparently, the king was not just looking for a beautiful lady ( Vashti too was very beautiful) but for a lady who was better in character than Vashti and whom other women could emulate. Esther had utilized her single season to nurture noble characters so the king chose her to become Queen.  The later chapters of Esther show how God used Esther as queen to save a whole nation.

Certain unfortunate circumstances in life have caused some young ladies to lose faith in God and think attaining their life purpose is hopeless.  In my community, poverty has made some young girls to forget their dreams and turn to prostitution as a means of livelihood. Some of them have ended up being heart broken, depressed, some with diseases etc. The story of Esther demonstrates God’s sovereignty and His loving care over his people. Your situation may not be easy, but if you can trust God, while you see yourself as a poor single young orphan girls, God is seeing a Queen to liberate nations and is using your difficulties during this single season to groom your character in-order that you are able to handle the great task He has ahead for you.

• Rebekah- An example of a good Christian girl with a lengthy single season (Genesis 24)

Abraham sent his servant to look for a wife for his son Isaac. The servant prayed to God and asked for a sign to chose the wife for Isaac. Many women were visiting the spring to draw water. The servant prayed that if he asked a young lady to give him water to drink and she gives him and also offers to feed his Carmel, then let her be the one God has chosen for Isaac. Before he finished praying, Rebekah showed up. Rebekah was a single lady born of a God-worshipping lineage. Some of the qualities the bible mentions of Rebekah is that she was very beautiful, old enough to be married but she was still a virgin (Genesis 24:16).  Abraham’s servant asked Rebekah for water. She offered him water and offered his Carmel water to drink until they had enough water. Rebekah also offered room for the Abraham’s servant to live in her father’s house.  Rebekah, with the permission of her family went with the servant. While they were approaching the field where Isaac was, from a distance, the servant introduced Isaac to Rebekah as his master.  Rebekah took her veil and covered herself. The servant told Isaac all he had done and thereafter Isaac married Rebekah.

In the context of our society, when a lady is above 25 years and still single, it looks like a taboo. You usually hear statements like ‘she is too selective, or she is too educated or she has a character problem’ that is why she is still single. All these may be true in peculiar circumstances, but in other circumstances, it may be God’s will that some people have a lengthy single season.  Rebekah is a real example of a God-fearing lady who “strides” in her single season. She took decisive steps of taking care of her family, nurturing godly- character such as humility, generosity, hardwork, obedience, patience etc which she emulated. She did not strife to shorten the single season. Instead she had to stride in it. See how it is mentioned that she was old enough to be married. The bible also mentions that Isaac got married at the age of 40 (Genesis 25:20- NLT), so I imagined that if Rebekah was old enough to be married then she may have been in her 30s. Yet she still kept godly characters like being a virgin. Rebekah had done nothing wrong to be single but it was God’s plan that she had a lengthy single season and she kept striding in this season, not complaining or becoming depressed but serving God and those around her. She waited until her family accepted that she could go with Abraham’s servant. Even when she met Isaac in the field, she did not rush but decided to veil herself until Isaac took her and married her. We see how one act of her service, humble and obedient character was a confirmation from God about being the wife of Isaac and not only that but also as one of the women through whom the descendants of the Great nation which God promised to Abraham was to be made manifest.

The single season has its own challenges. I/we (arisesisters) face similar challenges. We are grateful to God for wisdom about the single season given through His word, the help of the Holy Spirit, guidance from spiritual leaders, our parents and godly-advice from elderly people and peers. We are sharing what we are learning and endeavoring to act on what we learn. Nevertheless, we are not perfect and can be made perfect only through Jesus Christ who is our perfection. It is only by the Help of His Spirit that we can stride during this single season. God has shown us that He is a sovereign God and determines the seasons in our lives. We celebrated the weddings of two of us (arisesisters) in the same week but different settings and we can testify of how God brought the husbands of our sisters through different ways at His appointed time.

Jesus Christ died on the cross to save us from sin and every burden. This salvation package also entails being saved from the pressures of life that may keep us downcast. All you need to do to attain this salvation is believe in Jesus Christ and sincerely accept Him as Lord and savior. Study the word of God daily, pray, praise, fellowship with other Christians etc. Remain in Christ and you will notice that one secret to finding peace and joy in God is to discover, accept and appreciate God’s perfect timing and seasons.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 tells us “To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven…”(KJV).  This shows us that God has a plan for our lives and for every season of our lives. So God provides cycles in our lives, each having work for us to do and. The challenges we face during these seasons should not be barriers for us to quit achieving our purpose or to try to skip certain seasons of life. Rather, the challenges should help us depend more on God and His timing and this will help us stride (walk at the pace of grace) rather than strife on way to attaining our live goals.

We are waiting to hear from you too! Which of the biblical single season experience do you relate closely to- Ruth, Esther or Rebekah? You can share your story with us and inspire other young people.

God bless you.