STRUGGLES OF MY SINGLE SEASON: THE BATTLE WITH NEGATIVE ADDICTIONS

It’s a true life story…

She is from a Christian home and before going to the university; her parents did a great job of advising her against engaging in social vices. She had just completed secondary school and it was exciting to get into the university at the age of 17.  She had to live alone, many kilometres away from her parents. It was going to be a whole new experience. It felt like she was a grown-up girl.

She occupied one room of a hostel which had about thirty rooms with different occupants/ students from different homes and backgrounds. At the time, many students who lived at her hostel did not have a television. She had a portable DVD player which she used to watch movies during her leisure. She usually gave this DVD to some friends who wished to watch movies. One day, she gave this DVD to a friend who wanted to watch a movie and when this friend returned it, she noticed there was still a CD in it. She turned it on to watch the movie and to her surprise it was a pornographic movie. She had heard about pornographic movies but had never watched one. So she saw this as an opportunity to watch a pornographic movie.  Oh, she thought it was okay to watch and after all it was movie like any other movie. She watched it over and over again but she did not notice the seed she was planting in herself.  A few weeks later, she found herself fondling with her hands in panties. As a young Christian girl, she knew pre-marital sex is sin and so she thought masturbation was a better way to gratify her desires as it was with herself and not someone of the opposite sex. Before she noticed, this had become an addiction which she indulged in for over seven years as she was 24 years old at the moment.

One afternoon, as she found her hands in her panties, she remembered a portion of scripture which her parents had once preached about during morning devotion at home. This is found in 1 Corinthians 2:18-20:

“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.”

Immediately, she went on her knees and began praying to God and begging for forgiveness and the grace to overcome this addiction she had developed over seven years. Thereafter, she remembered where this started from which was watching pornographic movies. Besides praying about it, she took an intentional step to stop watching pornographic movies; she decided to open up her dirty habits to a few members of her Christian fellowship group who advised her and acted as accountability people who she could talk  to. After taking these intentional steps, one faithful day, while she was in her room alone with these same old desires which she did not want, she heard this soft whisper in her ears “LET ME HELP YOU”. At once she turned to prayers and truly she got help because she overcame her battles with pornography and masturbation.

This is a true life story and I believe many young ladies especially singles are familiar with this. Sometimes, we have struggles in controlling our growing hormones and so we compromise our standards.  We also pick up certain habits because we think others are doing it so we too should do it. Other times, because no one sees us doing what we do, we keep hiding our bad habits in our closet and before we notice it, it is an addiction and it becomes so difficult to disconnect from it.

We can maximize our single season for  self-development be it spiritually, professionally, in character etc (please you can read more on this from our previous write-ups on single season). Nevertheless, we need to be conscious because during this season, we can be very vulnerable to negative addictions.

We may have certain dirty habits or addictions. The good news is that there is HELP FOR US! Jesus Christ is so ready and available to help. He helped me and He can help you. All you need to do is to approach Him without any shame. He knows your weakness and your pain. Ask Him for forgiveness and invite Him to take control of your life and believe me, He will help you in ways you can never imagine.

Some practical actions which can help you with the struggles of addiction are as follows:

• Read, meditate on the word of God daily and make prayer a lifestyle. (You can get a Christian daily devotional to help guide your daily meditation).
• Fellowship with other Christians and get Christian mentorship
• Share your addictions with your Christian mentor and seek advice
• Take up that authority which is yours

The authority which you received when you surrendered to Christ. Command all your body parts to bow to his command and lead. Luke 10:1

• Deny any unclean suggestions from your flesh
• Focus on keeping your covenant with the love of your life, Jesus. John 15:9
• Flee all signs of temptations and all compromising positions.
• Make a covenant with your eyes that you will avoid watching movies or shows that will arouse feelings of lust or sin in you. Psalm 101:3
• Cut contacts with all friends physically or on social media that will place you in a vulnerable state.
• Basically, be radical and take bold steps even if it means losing friends or family. 2 Corinthians 6:14

Be intentional about cutting away from negative addictions and maximizing this single season for positive development. Also be consistent in developing godly character for CONSISTENCY BUILDS CHARACTER BUT COMPROMISE DESTROYS IT.

God bless you!