I met a good friend of mine a few years ago and there is one thing about him that amazed me – still amazes me. Every time he meets someone, he has this incredible and admirable ability to see something good in them first. It doesn’t matter who they are, what they’ve done or what people say about them, he always manages to see something good in everyone! What even got me more intrigued is that even if people do wrong things several times, over and over again, he still looks past all of that and focuses on the good side of them and how God can use that to transform them and transform others too.
Most times, we are the exact opposite of all of that. When we look at people, we tend to notice all the wrong things about them first before we see any good in them – that is if we do see any good at all. When I met this friend of mind, I challenged myself to develop that character. To not be quick to judge others or label them in a particular way no matter how much wrong they do or what they look like. There is a silver lining in every dark cloud and as hard as it might be I decided to try to look past all the wrong in people , see even just one good thing and focus on that instead. There is something good in everybody but until we condition our minds to look for this, we wouldn’t see it.
What should we look to see? Or how should we look at people that will not give us a tendency to be judgmental or bias?
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Look through the eyes of God
Isn’t it amazing that though we were sinners, are still sinners and will probably still sin tomorrow that doesn’t affect God’s love for us? We could even commit the same sin over and over again but when we go back to him, he still accepts and loves us just like He did before. His love for us never changes and nothing can separate us from his love, not even sin (Rom 8:38-39).
Unfortunately, sometimes, we are very good receivers and not so good givers. We receive all this mercy, love and grace from God daily and somehow find it very difficult to give just a portion of that to others.
We need to learn how to look at people through the eyes of God – His eyes that look upon us with mercy, grace and such amazing love. We need to look past the poison in the mouth of the bee and look at the little sack in its belly that is full of honey. We need to learn to look with love. This takes an intentional and conscious effort. It’s not going to come naturally.
“A new commandment I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” (John 13:34 NIV)
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Look With Patience
Sometimes, there is so much more to a person’s behavior than meets the eye. Sometimes, people go through certain painful experiences in life that translate into anger, bitterness and bad character. As distasteful as such people may be, and as difficult as it may be to put up with them, God expects us to show love to everyone. Rick Warren calls such people EGRs (Extra Grace Required people).
God looks upon us with so much grace. He patiently waits for us to come back to him each time we sin and do distasteful things that hurt him. We need to learn to be patient with others just like God is patient with us, we need to show more grace. Rather than harbor hate or bitterness in your heart towards such people or gossip about them, pray for them. Rather than retaliate and act just like they would or look on them in spite, do what is right instead and show them some love. Love is really what Christianity is all about and if we are true Christians, we need to learn how to love genuinely – and yes even when it is hard to show love. This doesn’t happen automatically and truth is we are going to fail sometimes but what is important is we make it a conscious effort and choice to always show love even in the most difficult situations and to the most difficult people.
I remember meeting a lady a few years ago and honestly she just irritated me, I later got to find out that she had lost her dad and her family was going through really hard times. I felt so guilty for not being nice to her when I heard that. There is so much more going on in people’s lives than what we see on the surface that’s why we need to learn patience and tolerance.
“Be patient, bearing one another in love” (Ephesians 4:2b NIV)
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Look With Compassion
In many instances in the bible, it is said that when Jesus saw the crowds that followed him, he was filled with compassion for them (Mtt 9:36, Mtt 14:14 Mk 6:34). These people were hurting and lost; among them were sick people, hungry people, confused people and just hurting people. Jesus’ heart was filled with so much compassion for them and he will heal the sick, feed the hungry and teach them the truth because he wanted them to live an abundant life full of joy and peace that the truth brings.
When we look at people, we need to learn to see their pain, their suffering, insecurities, fears and empathize with them – have compassion upon them.
Sometimes, all someone may need are kind words, a warm hug and a reassuring smile. I must say being nice to everyone I come across is not something I was born with. I just get very irritated by EGRs. But as I grow closer to God and His love grows inside of me, showing love to people honestly becomes easier by the day. His love in me teaches me how to love – and His love is the perfect kind of love that exists; unconditional, relentless, no-strings-attached kind of love.
So let His love transform you and teach you how to love others.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. (1Corinthians 13:4-8a NIV)
God bless you
Apiseh
This is quite inspiring, Thanks for Sharing.