Be You, Do You, But Be Watchful

I am quite excited to talk about something which almost took a toll on me during my transition from teenage years to early adulthood. I had to fight with this thing called “Inferiority Complex”. Other people call it low self esteem. Even right now, there are some awkward moments that make me think lower of myself than I should. I was privileged to do high school in one of the most prestigious institutions in Cameroon. My choice of high school was not because I wanted to see myself as one of the “rich kids” but it was simply because I admired the school uniform, and also because I wanted a change of environment. It was really easy to loose sight of my roots, being among rich kids, looking at their boxes (trunks) and all the luxury stuff in it. There were times I wondered why my parents could not get me things like these other students, given that our parents probably had the same income level. I honestly do not know why these thoughts set in because my parents provided everything for me but it was really a battle in the mind between negative and positive thoughts. Up till my early years in the University, I would see some of these girls and wonder why I can’t be like them. Probably their hairstyles, expensive body cream, clothes, shoes, etc. All these made me look low on my self and I relegated myself to staying quiet in their conversations, my voice was hardly ever heard because I felt I was not up to standard. I know many of us can relate to this. However, I discovered a few things which changed my life and brought my confidence back, thus enabling to change situations around me.

1.) Know who you are:

It is important to know who you are, where you are from and where you are headed. God made you, placed you in your family for a reason and He wants you to fulfill a purpose on the earth. You are designed in a unique way to do something which only you can do. Your temperament is peculiar to you. Never try to be someone else. You can admire a few good things in the person’s character which can be copied but do not forget that she was created the way she is for a reason and so were you.

Psalms 139: 14 “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

2.)Trust in your weakness and build your confidence.

Everyone has a different role to play on earth. But until you know who you are and can identify your gifts, you will always rest in low self esteem. This time, I will encourage you to trust your weaknesses. Trusting your weakness entails accepting them and using them for good. You may not like the way a part of your body looks or your simplicity in dressing and hairstyling, amongst others. But there may be someone who just admires you for that. Even though out ward looks matter a lot, sound development of your mind and integrity produces outward beauty. I noticed many times that many of the folks I used to admire actually suffer from lack of confidence that is why they keep trying to hide their flaws. This is the reason why many girls will never pass by a glass door/window without stopping to look at how they look. But self confidence changes your perspective of many things.

Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works together for good for those who love him and are called according to his purpose.

3.) Keep the right company:

Keeping the right company is very vital in handling low self esteem. In one of our previous articles, we established the fact that you are created to be a savior and not a slave to your peers. Are your friends only out for comparison/competition? Do you spend ¾ of your time talking about other people? Do they constantly insult you about your looks or can they add value to your life? These are questions to ask in choosing the right company. If you are in a circle of people who see your ideas as equally important, then its easy for you to make a difference in your life. But if your circle of friends do not value your presence, then what are you still doing with them?

Proverbs 13:20 “Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble.”

Proverbs 18:24 “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”

4.)Seek Divine guidance:

Ask God to take you out of that state of low self esteem. He created you in his image, he saw your unformed body in your mother’s womb, he knew you would be where you are, doing what you are doing. Activate your mind to the fact that God cannot create a mistake. So you should make the best out of every situation or every place you are. You can only keep drowning in low self esteem when you lack knowledge of who you are as a child of God. Therefore, you need to study the word of God, search through it, meditate on it, asking God to help you know your identity.

Psalm 119:73-74 “You made me; you created me. Now give me the sense to follow your commands. May all who fear you find in me a cause for joy, for I have put my hope in your word.”

1 Peter 2:9 “However, you are chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, people who belong to God. You were chosen to tell about the excellent qualities of God, who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.”