It’s instinctive human behavior to put up a defensive shield when we feel like we’re being attacked. That shield goes up and remains there and unfortunately, it doesn’t always protect us from bad things only, sometimes that shield prevents things that are good for us – for our growth and well-being from coming in. It takes a lot of courage to admit to oneself that we have a flaw. It’s easier to point out the flaws in others than in ourselves. That’s just one of the many weaknesses we have as humans. It’s a sign of growth and maturity when we can be honest with ourselves and judge ourselves like we would judge another.
Unhealthy pride is one of those flaws that is difficult for us to admit that we have. We often try to disguise it in ‘self love’ or ‘confidence’ or ‘owning my truth’ as most people say these days, or just any excuse we can find to write it off. I’d like to emphasize that the kind of pride that we’ll be looking at in this article shouldn’t be confused for self esteem, assertiveness or feeling proud about one’s acievements. Take a look at this article for more details on what pride is not.
In this article, the focus is on unhealthy pride, the kind that makes us underlook others and think of ourselves as better than them. The kind that makes us treat people differently based on our perception of their status, the kind that makes it hard for us to see any weaknesses in ourselves, the kind that makes it hard for us to be corrected or rebuked. This kind of pride should be far from us. Even God who loves us dearly and throughout creation has been making ways to bring us closer to him doesn’t want a proud person around him. He resists the proud (James 4:6), He doesn’t like a proud look (Proverbs 6:16-17). He basically hates pride.
But then again we are human, we have weaknesses. Sometimes it’s an instinctive reaction beyond our control. So how do we deal with pride? How do we take pride by its horns and toss it far away from our lives?
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Be the First to Point out Your Own Weaknesses
Like I said above, we are sometimes so quick in pointing out the flaws and weaknesses in others. If we could turn that magnifying glass we use to scrutinize others on ourselves, we’ll be doing ourselves a lot of good. If we would be honest with ourselves and admit it when we notice some kind of pride in us , even in the most subtle form, it’ll be much easier for us to get rid of it. If we however try to make excuses and not call it what it truely is, then it’ll just remain in us and only grow bigger. So the first step in getting rid of pride is recognizing when it creeps in and admitting it – atleast to ourselves.
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Accept Criticism and Negative Feedback with an Open Mind
I know, I know, none of us really like to be criticized. Negative feedback is a hard pill to swallow. It’s just not what we want to hear! We’d rather people praise us and tell us what we’re doing right than the other way around. Unfortunately this doesn’t always aid our growth. It’s the negative feedback and criticism that’ll help us grow. And again, because it’s so hard for us to point out our own weaknesses, sometimes it’s better to let someone else do it. So when next someone criticizes you, don’t be so quick to brush it off, think about it for a second and if you find any truth in it, accept it and work on changing for the better. Don’t be that person whom people would be so scared to point out your faults because you just can’t take it. Matter of fact seek for negative feedback sometimes from people. Of course you have to be careful with this because sometimes, out of scorn, jealousy or dislike, people can spew really mean and hateful words on you. Be careful to differentiate when someone is criticizing you from a place of love and with a desire to help you be better and when they’re just being mean. Don’t internalize mean and hateful words. Those are tools of the devil to destroy your self esteem and confidence. Accept feedback, criticism and even rebuke that is intended to help you be a better person.
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Find Accountability in Someone You can Trust
Accountability is a great way to keep us in check and help us overcome weaknesses we might have, including pride. Finding that one person that can tell you when you messed up is actually a great way to help you clean your mess up. Having that person that can notice pride in you and tell you will be a great way to get rid of it. Again you have to be able to handle criticism and rebuke when it’s for your own good.
Let’s give ourselves a little challenge today. This will be hard to do, but it’ll be of a huge benefit to you. So try it!
Go to those people that you are always around, could be your co-worker, friends, siblings, – the people you spend the most time with and ask them for negative feedback. Ask them to tell you those areas in your life they think you should work on. Again be careful to filter the feedback you get and recognize which is genuine and which is just out of spite. Then take that negative feedback in and consciously work on getting better in those areas.
If you do this, we’d love to know how it went! write us an email or leave a comment below with your experience and we could put it up on the blog so that others can learn from your experience!
Keep working on yourself sister, there’s always room for improvement
Stay blessed!