Based on a true story…
She was at the university and many people appreciated her beauty. She had many male suitors who wanted to be her boyfriend, yet she was a girl who upheld her moral standards. She desired to be married one day but at the moment she believed it was a season to concentrate on her studies and one day she will be found by someone who will be her husband.
One evening after school, she received a call from a young man telling her how much he longed to talk with her. He invited her for super. She went out for super and thesame day, this guy declared how much he loved her and wanted to be with her. She was not convinced about this but the days ahead, she received numerous calls from this guy declaring good intentions to her about his undying love for her. He asked to visit her and each time he visited, he would shower her with the best gifts she so desired. All this happened in the space of about three weeks. She then noticed she had fallen for his charm. Before she could notice, within the space of one month, she was in a relationship with Him, going places together, spending nights together etc. A close friend of hers only discovered this and tried to warn her about it because she noticed the boy had another girl friend. This meant nothing to her because she felt like she was intimate with him and he had told her he loved her so she went on with her relationship. It did not even matter if he had another girlfriend. What mattered most is that she was his favorite girl. The relationship was in its third month.
One night as she was asleep, she received a call from another guy who said he was a friend to her boyfriend. This guy told her that he wanted her to quit the relationship with her boyfriend. She was furious and rejected what this boy said. He insisted that her boyfriend is his friend and he does not love her. He told her the truth of how her boyfriend had heard of how other guys really wanted her for her beauty but she denied; he had heard of her lovely character and humble personality; and he had heard of her moral standards too and how she had denied to be in relationships at the moment in order to focus on her studies. This guy told her how her boyfriend had told his friends that he must get into a relationship with her and come out with evidence just to prove a point to his friends that he can have whichever girl he wanted. Much more was revealed to her about her relationship and she noticed everything she did in this relationship was recounted to her because her boyfriend exposed every step of her relationship to his friends to prove his point. She was devastated and when she asked the boy who recounted this to her why he would favor her this way to tell her the truth, he made her understand she is a good person and had helped him in a situation even though she did not know him. So when he noticed she was the girl his friend had lured into an unhealthy relationship, he could not hold back but give her a helping hand.
It was a long night for her. She was devastated. She cried all night long in disappointment. She could not believe how much she had believed someone loved her yet it was all faked-up and a thing of ridicule. She wondered how someone will spend so much money on gifts for her just to get to her for his own pleasure. She was so hurt and hated her boyfriend for the deception. She cut off contact with her boyfriend and was depressed for a while but her friends and family consoled her. After a few weeks, she visited her boyfriend to cut off the relationship. Her boyfriend asked her what she will do now that she is leaving him and not having a boyfriend like other single girls. She told him “she will go to church”. She did not understand why she said that but she left him and a few weeks later decided to be serious in serving in her local church through small fellowship groups. She made new friends, she learned to read and meditate on the word of God and she came to understand that LOVE is a great word and even the nature of God. Nevertheless, she understood the LOVE of God is far from what many people just say anyhow. She came to understand LOVE is a wonderful thing when it emanates from Christ likeness and this is how it is:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails! (1 Corinthians 3:4-8).
The Love which comes from God is different from what she had experienced. She noticed that her boyfriend had told her he loved her and she felt this was true because he gave her beautiful gifts , bought her chicken and drinks. Now she taught the gifts were nice but she noticed the motive behind the gifts was not kindness instead it was to dishonor her and there was not truth but deception in this giving.
On her path, she decided to forgive her boyfriend because the Christ-like love warrants Christians not to hold record of wrong but forgive even those who hurt them. She decided to talk to older friends in her fellowship group about relationship and she found out that there are many young ladies out there who thrived in their single season and have been blessed with men who intentionally practice this love of Christ and the fruit is evident in their courting or marriage relationships. She encountered some ladies and men who made her understand that with the help of the holy spirit they intentionally strived to patient in their choice of relationships , practiced a lot of self-control especially in line with sexual immorality, decided to follow the godly love perception and at the moment, they were married and the fruits of godly love was so evident in the kind of blessings portrayed in their marriage. This is opposed many advice which people had given her before such as “a lady should date any man who loves her even if he has even eight girlfriends because men are the way they are. She should just try to behave well to be first on his list amongst many.” Or “Men must taste their cars before driving, so ladies who try to keep their purity as singles may lose the men who want to marry them.” Not long from then, a friend of hers who had contracted HIV/AIDS from a relationship just died. It felt so sad. She discovered that not every common perception is the true perception of life as some perceptions may mislead people to their own destruction. So she decided to remain in Christ where she had found love and peace.
After reading the story of this young lady, I believe many of us can relate with this by experience or by perception of what is happening around us. There are a lot of good things created by God for particular purposes for His glory, yet circular standards have compromised the truth about these things. It is so sad that in our generation, even the word love and the actions backing them have been misused as a means of deception for many singles, male and female alike. For instance, it is common to see a single lady give a man the impression she loves him just wants to get money for her personal needs from him and on the other hand it is common to see young men give ladies the impression they love them just for their personal pleasure.
Nevertheless, if there is a compromised version of anything, it means there is the true version. God is love, true love is of God and true love comes from God. The single season is a season to maximize the time we have to grow in genuine relationship with the God of love and I believe out of this relationship with God, we would be able to bear fruits of love in our generation such as kindness, forgiveness, perseverance, hope, patience, sacrifice for others, trust etc
You can share your story with us to encourage other singles.
God bless you!