Have you ever felt like you know what is right to do in your heart yet, because that is not what every other single lady is doing, you decide to forget about what you believe is right to do and just flow with what every other person is doing? Does this sound like you?
As young girls who grew up in an African setting, moving to the University was usually what separated children from the parents in my local community as it entailed traveling and living many kilometers away from home. Before leaving home for the university, our parents usually advised us on the right things to do and on avoiding social vices. We listened to this and knew we were bold enough to keep to parental advice and cling to positive self-values. Nevertheless, living far away from our parents, we had to start learning to make a lot of decisions concerning our lives.
During our university days, the first few weeks of the first semester was known as a “Rush period” for the new level one students who were called freshmen. This rush period was a period when the university guys wooed the new level one girls for relationships. While the guys were wooing the girls, the perception of young ladies was to get a “new catch” that is a new boyfriend. It was unpopular to see a single young lady who was not in an intimate relationship “boyfriend/girlfriend” with a young man. So, young ladies will always research schemes to attract the young men. What is interesting are the schemes young ladies would use to get the attention of the guys or to keep the guy. For example, it was so common to see a young girl leave the room rented by her parents for her and joining her guy in a room rented for him by his parents; girls wanted to look very conspicuous regardless of the little monthly allowance received from their parents; girls dressing half naked to get the attention of guys etc. On the part of the guys, despite the little allowance given to them by their parents, they had to maintain their “swag” by keeping up with the ladies expenses by providing the money the young ladies used to cover their expenses; spending a lot on partying etc. We were even made to understand that it was a norm for a boy to have atleast eight girlfriends. So what young ladies had to do was not to try to be the only girlfriend, but to strive to be the first girlfriend out of the other seven girls.
As a result of these negative perceptions, things like abortion became a normal affair around the university campus area. For instance, it was a Sunday when we witnessed a dead child of about 8 months old, wrapped and thrown in a dustbin by the road side but it seemed like it was not a grievous incident as people just passed by, looked and continued on their way; Young girls suffered a lot of emotional trauma due to “heart breaks” from relationships and this adversely affected their education; Young people who went to university to acquire degrees ended up acquiring diseases like HIV/AIDS; many young boys got themselves involved in scamming for money etc. All these things seemed to be fun and became like a societal norm among university students. If you were not doing them, it seemed “You had passed through the university but the university had not passed through you.”
Many young people picked up and nurtured a lot of habits from the university community setting which were unknown even to their parents. Young people thought all what they did were just for youthful pleasures during their time at the university and the habits nurtured back at the university community would end there. This was not true because cutting away from some of these habits became so difficult for many and adversely affected their character even many years later.
Single season is a season is a season to maximize for personal development. If you are not developing positively you may be developing negatively whether intentionally or unintentionally. The societal pressures are real and opinions seem very popular. Many times, while in them, they look like the best options for us and we feel very comfortable especially because everyone is doing it. It is usually when we fall into trouble due to some of these negative pressures that we notice how it has affected our lives. At that point, some people get depressed and some lives are even destroyed while others may find help but still live with the consequences of their past action.
Whether you are presently experiencing some of these negative pressures or you are living with the consequences of our past actions; You have made errors; you feel depressed; you feel ashamed; you feel like giving-up etc. Do not worry. There is GOOD NEWS. We can be saved from all these. Jesus Christ is our salvation. He loves us so much that He already died for all our sins and afflictions. All we need to do is to run back to this place of safety, repent of our sins and accept Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. His arms are already open wide waiting for you… Yes you reading this write-up! What are you doing about His loving call today? Once you go back to Jesus in repentance of your sins and acceptance of Him, He wipes away your past and gives you a whole new life. Yes life has been hard especially during this single season but with the help of the Holy Spirit, God will guide you on the right path to take and you can sail through this season thriving and not striving.
The single season is a season of life like any other season and it too shall come to pass. Just ask yourself what you will recount about your single season when you move to the next seasons of life. May God help us to grasp and fulfill the purpose for the season.
Please, you too reading this write-up can encourage us with how you overcame the struggles of your single season. You can use the comment section below or connect with us through email or on Facebook.
God bless you!
You are my aspiration, I have few web logs and often run out from post
:).