I had a conversation with a friend about the five love languages and why it is important for couples to understand their spouse’s love language in order to satisfy their spouse. In his book “The Five Love Languages”, Gary Chapman outlines five general ways that couples express and experience love which are: acts of service, gift-giving, physical touch, quality time and words of affirmation. According to his theory, each person has one primary and one secondary love language. Chapman suggests that to discover another person’s love language, one must observe the way they express love to others, and analyze what they complain about most often and what they request from their significant other most often. For example, if a wife’s primary love language is quality time or words of affirmation and her husband constantly showers her with gifts because that is his primary love language, she will not perceive it as love because she wants just quality time together and words of affirmation. On the other hand, she may also try to please her husband with quality time because that is her love language but her husband may not perceive it as love. He rather prefers receiving gifts. This confusion on how to please the spouse brings a strain in their relation because they don’t understand each other’s love language.
If Jesus Christ refers to his relationship with the body of Christ (Christians) as a marital relationship wherein we are the bride and he is the bridegroom (John 3:29, Mark 2:19, Matt 25:1-13, Ephesians 5:22-33), then it is very important that we understand his love language in order for this relationship to flow smoothly. Gary Chapman also makes us understand that the benefits of love language does not end at human relationships. God’s love for us is often expressed in different ways, but if we ever face spiritual dryness, it is important to search for God’s love language. Learning to communicate God’s love language makes us more effective vessels of God’s love.
What then is God’s love language and how do we express it?
From scriptures, we can pick out 3 of God’s most outstanding love languages which are FAITH, PRAISE AND WORSHIP. We notice that we can fit all the other 5 human love languages into these 3. What matters therefore is how we speak these 3 love languages to solidify our relationship with God.
In this series, we will deal with FATIH as God’s primary love language. Hebrews 11 (NIV) defines faith as “the confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” This same chapter mentions a lot of things about faith and what we can obtain through faith using the examples of our fore fathers. However, the most outstanding portion which makes faith God’s primary love language is Hebrews 11:6 “But without faith it is impossible to please God…”
Therefore, if you are willing to please God in everything you do, it is important to examine how you exercise your faith to make sure you are speaking this love language effectively. Many Christians under the guise of exercising their faith scare others away from the faith. Other Christians, in the name of serving God in spirit and truth bring divisions in the body of Christ. Whereas other Christians still in the name of exercising their faith loss focus of their primary assignment/ministry to the family. In this light, we will be examining some key areas such as: Exercising your faith at the job side, Exercising your faith in the church/fellowship/community and Exercising your faith in the family.
Stay tuned for more enriching articles on this topic. Till we meet again, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.